You either don’t lose the weight, or you do lose it and gain it all back. The average dieter begins and breaks four diets a year. Four. We start out thinking “this time I’ll lose the weight,” yet over and over again we’re disappointed. If simply cutting out certain foods or limiting our caloric intake were the answer, we would all be thin.
Some people go to the extremes and have surgery to make their stomach smaller. But this dangerous surgical approach isn’t the answer, because the problem isn’t in your stomach, it is in your HEART. Regardless of how good a diet may be, if you don’t deal with your emotional hunger, it may grow along with your waistline. From the very beginning of our lives we associate food with being protected and comforted. Perhaps you fell and scraped your knee and your mom soothed you with a cookie, or rewarded you with food for a good grade. This memory of food as comfort stays with us as adults.
It’s been one of those days… you’ve peeked into the refrigerator three times since lunch. You want something to eat but you can’t figure out what you want. How about some ice cream, chips, or maybe the leftover birthday cake? You have this sense of yearning and food sounds like an easy answer. Maybe you weren’t so much hungry as lonely, bored, depressed, disappointed or hurt?
It’s a fact; food does make us feel good. We have more receptors for serotonin (the feel-good hormone) in our bellies than in our brains. But food is only a quick fix. After our snack, we go back to feeling the sadness or anxiety, or that vague dissatisfaction, again. And now that you’ve broken your diet, chances are you’ve added guilt to your list of feelings and feel even worse.
Consciously we say we want to lose weight, but somehow we end up sabotaging our success. Why? Because our subconscious mind is what really determines our behavior. Without addressing the underlying emotional needs, we are not getting to the root of the problem. Weight problems don’t happen in isolation. Chances are it’s not just the weight on the scale, but something else is weighing heavy on the heart. Our emotional health is crucial to our physical well-being.
Some of the issues dieters need to confront include:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Resentment
- Loneliness
- Feeling abandoned
- Boredom
- Self-esteem issues
- Insecurities
- Guilt
- Anger
- Sadness
- Emptiness
We hear of all the health benefits of losing weight. Won’t it be great if I’m no longer at risk for diabetes? My blood pressure may go down. Less stress on my heart and my joints! I may no longer need some of the prescription medications I’m taking. Of course I’ll look better too. Who wouldn’t want to lose weight?
We begin to deprive ourselves of our favorite foods and all those things that are supposed to be bad for us. Maybe we even lose a little weight. Unfortunately, most of the time we either don’t make our weight loss goals, or we lose weight and then gain it back. You think to yourself: “If only I try harder.” “If only I had more willpower.” We blame our parents and our genes. We look at the people who seem to eat anything they want and never gain and wonder why it is so easy for them and so difficult for us?
At the Life center we find that the following steps are a good beginning to making positive changes.
Step One: Start noticing your eating patterns and what emotions you are responding to:
- Keep an emotions journal and really listen to your self-talk.
- I should – rational voice, it comes from your head.
- I want – irrational voice, it comes from your feelings.
- When are these words used?
- Track each scenario.
- Does this mean that you should never get what you want or need? If it conflicts with your “Should” you should tread lightly.
Step Two: Consider what messages you were sent as a child. Write a list of the good and bad.
- It is possible that you have carried some bad feelings with you through to adulthood.
- If you felt criticized or neglected as a child it is common to criticize or neglect ourselves as adults as a response to that.
- The harsh statements sent our way from others tend to make us believe that they were right and that we may never measure up to their expectations, no less our own.
- If you continually feel like a failure, you will fail….choose to only imagine success for yourself. Use positive affirmations whenever possible.
- Don’t underestimate the power of your inner voice…you can encourage yourself with the, I CAN DO IT, or deflate yourself by saying, I’LL FAIL AGAIN.
Step Three: Learn to love yourself
- We tend to take care of things we love
- Treat yourself with a little TLC, dieting is not easy.
- Teach yourself how to change with patience and love.
Step Four: Be Mindful
- Learn how to just BE in your skin.
- Be in the moment. If you are worrying about tomorrow, you will lose precious time today.
- Don’t be afraid to be alone with your thoughts.
- Burying your feelings is a self-defense mechanism because we want to protect ourselves from the pain.
- It is better to feel the pain than bury it.
- Being alone with your thoughts without any distractions can be a scary thing. It may hurt but you need to push through it or you may end up self-soothing with food.
- Do not anticipate that you will work out your feelings in one session.
- Have your support system nearby. (friends, therapist, life coach)
Most people find that if one-on-one life coaching is an integral part of their weight loss plan, they are more likely to stay on track and lose the weight. Talking to a compassionate professional helps us grow on an emotional level, and learning new coping skills can help us break long-standing habits and self-sabotage. It’s not just about having enough willpower or being good when you follow the diet. When we work through the emotional baggage that’s holding us back, nothing can stop us.
At The Life Center, our life coach can help you confront, and work through these issues. You’ll know you’re getting better because you won’t feel enslaved to your cravings and bad eating habits. You’ll feel more in control of your appetite and your life. You don’t have to do it alone.
The Life Center is a Naturopathic office and wellness center located in North Haven and West Hartford CT. The Life Center has been voted the #1 weight loss center in the area 2 years in a row. Most of their services including Life coaching and Medical weight loss are covered by most insurances. They also offer the Life Diet which is based on YOUR metabolic uniqueness as opposed to a one size fits all diet. Learn more on their website.Call 203-239-3400 and we would be happy to answer any questions you may have. www.thelifecenterofct.com.