The title of this article may not seem to make sense but believe me the topics do relate to each other. I heard the first question from someone who was in the White House when the Penta- gon was hit by the plane the terrorists took control of on 9/11. The White House was evacuated and when this person got into a cab the cabby turned and asked, “Where do you want to go?” It stopped her and made her think about her life. Where are we safe? Where do you want to go with your life? Why are you here?
I think we each need to define for ourselves what life is about and understand why we are here. I believe we are here to serve
and one needs to define who we are here to serve, how and when. Who is the lord you serve? For many it is a lord of accumulation and impressing others, but believe me that will not bring happiness or meaning into your life. I know from my experience counseling peo- ple who learn they are mere mortals and then truly begin to live a meaningful life. A meaningful life is always a successful life because it is not based upon accumulated wealth or objects but based upon helping those before you now, and doing what they need done.
This begins to happen when we seek goodness in the world and do not project our inadequacies upon others. It happens when we stop making excuses and make meaningful choices about how we live and when we stop seeing evil and envying others. Then your life changes and you go in a meaningful direction with it.
If you live in fear this is hard to do. So ask yourself another ques- tion. What am I afraid of? If you were not loved as an infant there are probably many things you fear and also find it difficult to seek good- ness and love because you are not tuned in to that mode of com- munication and relationship. I hadn’t thought of it but I bet there are people who never consider themselves worthy of a massage or are afraid to be touched because of their treatment as infants. The ones who never have time to sit down for a few minutes of chair massage let alone an hour on the massage table. They are not capable of re- ceiving love because they never experienced it. Their nervous system is different from the one of a child who has been loved.
Many of you are aware that a mother is changed by breast feed- ing both physically and psychologically and the infant is changed by breast feeding and even a pacifier. Why and what happens? A wom- an who breast feeds loses weight faster after delivery as she gives
of her body to nourish her child. She produces more oxytocin, the ‘love’ hormone and feels the love and bonding with her infant. The infant also produces more oxytocin and feels loved and connected to his or her mother and gains weight faster than an infant tube fed the exact same number of calories without a pacifier. If a pacifier is given the weight gain increases even with tube feedings.
In my new religion, called Undo, we have three symbols. One symbol is a penny reminding us In God We Trust and the liberty to live our unique life. The second is ice because it defies the laws of physics by becoming lighter than the liquid it is derived from and floats. Thus preserving life on this planet. (No other liquid does this.) The third is a Band-Aid, to remind us that a covered wound is capable of healing without our having to do anything.
When we study the heart we see why these wounds of child- hood are hard to heal. our Creator loves us and gave us the ability to heal but if one’s heart is wounded this process can be adversely affected. More studies are showing that the heart is not merely a pump. We all are aware of the stories of memories being carried with transplanted hearts from the donor’s life experience to the organ recipient’s consciousness. When the heart is forming it contains nerve cells like the brain and glandular cells like an endocrine organ and so it functions as more than a muscle. I would add that even as a pump there is a reason a heart rate of 60 is beneficial when you study rhythms and their effect on the body.
To truly heal one must be a part of the fortunate minority who were loved as children, or became educated and open to love due to a loss or major illness or decided to reparent themselves and stop being afraid of experiencing life and their vulnerability. If you know who you are you are not vulnerable to the thoughts and actions of others. The ugly duckling had a hell of a life and was a part of the small minority who make it on their own, but he did, and you can too.
Bernie holds a support group in Simsbury at Wisdom of the Ages the first Wednesday of each month from 7-9pm. Wisdom of the Ages, a special place to nurture your spiritual side. It’s filled with items to calm the mind, heal the body & empower your spirit. They also provide massages & monthly meditation classes. Wisdom of the Ages is owned by Bernie’s son & daugh- ter- in-law, Keith & Jane Siegel. Located at 1408 Hopmeadow St. Simsbury. Please call for info or to register for Bernie’s group. (860) 651-1172, www. wisdomoftheages.biz, berniesiegelmd.com. See ad on 30.
Bernie also runs a Woodbridge Support Group which meets the Second and Fourth Tuesday evenings of each month at Coachman’s Square, Bradley Road, Woodbridge, CT. Contact: Lucille Ranciato at 203-288-2839 or email her at lranciato@yahoo.com.