While any weight loss approach should be individual, we must have to take into account other factors. Women are especially dynamic in their being, with their hormones ever in flux, their natural caretaker instincts, and the need to hold space for those who matter most in their lives. However, in many ways, these beautiful characteristics can be a very heavy burden to bear, which can result in putting themselves last—including their health and wellness.
There’s a saying, “You’re no good to others if you’re not good to yourself,” and this couldn’t be more evident than when we talk about women and their own struggles with their weight and body image. Just because all the “right things” are being done doesn’t mean the transformation is guaranteed. Sometimes, we must address the messy parts of our lives before the other, more obvious ones will result in our desired outcomes.
If the struggle is real, consider the following:
Are Your Emotional Needs Being Met?
As women, it is very easy to let these specific needs fall by the wayside when we’re responsible for others. When this happens, our emotional and energetic cup can become drained, and the only sure way to bring it back up is to have it filled for us. This can be from great friendships, romantic partners, or extended families.
We have to take some time out of our busy schedules to allow these relationships the chance to grow and, in turn, help us be fulfilled. When we don’t, we subconsciously hold onto things—feelings, emotions, hurt energy, resentment—which have a way of not leaving us; hence, those stubborn few pounds.
Do You Feel Safe?
Safety doesn’t just mean ensuring we or our loved ones are out of the way of an obvious danger or threat, but rather, do we find it necessary to always be alert as if something is about to happen to us? This is an evolutionary adaptation put in place with the intention of prioritizing our survival—which is wonderful—but not always necessary when we no longer live in a cave with wild, hungry animals running around. When our bodies don’t feel safe, just like with emotions, we will hold onto extra weight until we feel we’re in a place to let it go.
Safety can look different for everybody, but one of the most common challenges to our safety is our stress levels. Movies will have us believe that high stress is the financiers on Wall Street who are in danger of losing their houses and fear telling their wives and children; so, naturally, we all assume our stress is low in comparison. But the reality is stress is anything ranging from being stuck in traffic on I-95, ensuring major deadlines are met, or having just had a fight with a partner; they all elicit the same biological response within our bodies, regardless of how we perceive them to be different from each other.
Do You Have Goals?
Goal setting is one of the most underutilized tools for growth in all aspects of life; just like a map, we can’t get to our final destination without instructions to do so. If our minds and selves lack direction, which is what goals provide us, we might grow stagnant and comfortable.
This doesn’t have to be a laborious process, just about five minutes out of your morning to write down what you desire for your life. These constant reminders generate accountability and promote the motivation to move forward. These goals don’t need to have anything to do with your health at all—they could simply be about life in general. But because “how you do one thing is how you do everything,” if we are only giving 50% into some parts of our lives, we can’t expect to receive 100% satisfaction from the others.
Dr. Lyndsey Maher is the medical director of Soleil Acupuncture and Naturopathic Wellness in Hamden, CT, an integrative medical clinic. Her health concerns in adolescence led her to naturopathic medicine so that she could give others the tools to make the most empowered and educated decisions for their own health. She sees various health matters in practice, including but not limited to hormonal health, fertility, and diseases of metabolism.