Taking Responsibility for Your Own Happiness Is the Greatest Gift You Can Give

Taking Responsibility for Your Own Happiness Is the Greatest Gift You Can Give

Our lives are full of relationships. From the moment we are born until the moment we transition out of this life, we encounter family, friends, and co-workers. Many of us will find a partner with whom we feel an attraction and passion and find ourselves deeply in love with the other person. We may even decide to marry with the intention of the union lasting a lifetime.

One day we may find that something is lacking. Perhaps the passion has dimmed, perhaps interests have changed. With pressures of career, home, and family, we may lose the deep soul connection we once had with another person—the mutual trust, security, and unconditional love—may have faded.

Rebuilding and Maintaining Connection
There are ways to build and maintain that deeper connection, on a spiritual level, with our partner. Meeting them not just as a partner, but as an extension of the other, with vulnerability. Partnerships that are able to maintain that deep spiritual connection often have deep listeners who are able to meet their partner where they are and communicate authentically and truthfully in a non-judgmental relationship.

There are ways those in romantic relationships can deepen their spiritual connection. As an interspiritual minister who creates and officiates weddings, I also companion couples in creating a vision for their marriage. There are practices they can actively engage in to strengthen the foundation of their marriage and help them navigate life’s inevitable ups and downs. These are also practices I observe as opportunities when I work with couples—ways they can build the basis for a partnership that will last.

Being Present to Your Partner’s Soul
The eyes are the gateway to the soul, and being present with another by looking at them and seeing their soul and wholeness is intimate, affirming, and respectful.

Explore the Spiritual Lessons Your Partner Is Teaching You
Having a spiritual relationship is about growing spiritually. Our partners often hold up a mirror to us, even if they’re not aware they’re doing it. We always have the opportunity in relationships to pause when triggered and investigate why. What is happening that has triggered us, and what is this telling us about ourselves?

Have Deep, Meaningful Conversations on a Regular Basis
When was the last time you asked your partner what was on their heart? What new awareness have they had about themselves today? What are their deepest fears, longings, and desires? To have these conversations on a regular basis, without trying to fix or solve but to be present in what the other is sharing, deepens your connections.

Openly Communicate Emotions
Communication, being able to share from a place of respect and nonjudgment, is something many relationships lack. To be able to love someone unconditionally is a true act of love. To be able to hold space for vulnerability builds a relationship of mutual trust and respect. To be able to share hurts and disappointments in an open and honest way builds a secure relationship.

The most important place to be in a relationship is where you love yourself first, you know you are whole and you don’t seek completeness outside yourself. You’re in your relationship not because of need but because your partner is an extension of you, they’re on your path with you. They help you grow spiritually and accept and love you just as you are. To take responsibility for your own happiness and not rely on it being filled by another person is a gift you give to yourself and your partner.

Every relationship goes through seasons, and healthy relationships take effort, time, and understanding. Spirituality is the key to appreciating the other person and building a strong relationship that will last through all seasons of life.

Ordained by One Spirit Interfaith Seminary and certified as an Interspiritual Counselor, Lauri offers spiritual counseling in person in her Bethany location, The Liminal Studio, as well as by phone and Zoom. Grounded in mindful practices and with a lengthy corporate career, Lauri is uniquely qualified to companion others as they navigate careers while searching to live authentically. She creates and officiates life event ceremonies, including weddings, partnership commitments, and celebrations of life.

You can learn more about her at: www.lauriingram.com, email her at: lauri@lauriingram.com, or call 203.435.5650.