A few years ago, a friend commented on how hard I was on myself. “Would you speak to a child as harshly as the way you speak to yourself?” she asked. I wouldn’t – and that question gently reshaped how I began to approach my own healing, including my relationship with gut health.
What if we stop treating gut health like a project and start treating it like a relationship? What would change for you?
Projects vs. Relationships
For many of us, gut health has become another thing to fix, manage, or get “right.” We approach it like a task list – adding collagen to our smoothies, tracking protein intake, sometimes eliminating entire food groups – instead of learning to listen to what our bodies are asking for. When those strategies don’t work as expected, frustration often follows.
When we treat something as a project, there’s a clear start and end point, along with a list of tasks meant to guarantee a result. This mindset can appear disciplined on the surface, but it often creates more tension than it heals. The pressure to “do it right,” the daily supplements, the constant tracking, and the ever-growing list of rules can quietly push the body further out of balance – the opposite of what we’re aiming for.
Now consider what it feels like to build a relationship with another human. You meet someone who feels like sunshine, and you naturally want more of them in your life. You start spending time together, sending random texts or funny memes. You listen with curiosity, knowing trust takes time. You show up regularly, though not always perfectly. You understand that relationships can’t be forced, so you focus on care rather than control and allow things to evolve.
Building a Relationship with Your Gut
Now here’s the challenge: imagine this relationship is with your gut. Maybe your gut doesn’t feel like that sunshine-y person. Maybe it feels frustrating, unpredictable, or easier to ignore altogether. Building the relationship anyway is the work.
The same rules apply. You listen – to digestion, energy, and mood – to learn what your body is communicating. You stay patient while changes take time. You keep daily habits consistent and return to care instead of control. You use nourishing food as communication: real meals with real ingredients, eaten mindfully and regularly. Add gentle movement, quality sleep, and moments of intentional breathing, and you begin to create the conditions for feeling better – not by force, but through trust.
So, what does it look like to begin building that relationship?
For me, it often starts with the nervous system. A few minutes of simple breath work – something as basic as box breathing paired with gratitude – can shift how the entire body feels. It’s not dramatic, but it’s consistent, and consistency is where trust is built. Sleep plays a similar role. Just as relationships suffer when we’re exhausted, the gut struggles when rest is chronically compromised. Prioritizing enough sleep isn’t a productivity hack – it’s an act of care.
Movement matters too, not as punishment or performance, but as communication. Walking, stretching, dancing, or gentle strength work all send the same message to the body: you’re supported, you’re engaged, you’re safe to function well.
Notice that none of these practices begin with food. That’s intentional. While nourishment is important, gut health doesn’t exist in isolation. The digestive system is deeply intertwined with the nervous system, sleep, movement, and the environment we move through each day.
Relationships also require honesty about what isn’t working. With gut health, that might mean noticing the subtle ways we override our body’s signals – eating while distracted, pushing through fatigue, or choosing convenience when we truly need nourishment. Instead of judging those moments, we can treat them as information. Every symptom, craving, or reaction is part of an ongoing conversation, not evidence of failure. When we respond with curiosity – “What are you trying to tell me?” – the body often answers more clearly than we expect, and the relationship deepens through that willingness to listen.
In the end, the relationship you’re building with your gut reflects the relationship you have with your body as a whole. And like any meaningful relationship, it isn’t linear or perfect. It ebbs and flows. It allows for mistakes, repair, and forgiveness.
Shift into Positivity
I still think about my friend’s question often, and I now ask those around me to refrain from using negative self-talk in my presence. It’s a small boundary, but a powerful one. More recently, I noticed a co-worker walking past a mirror. As she caught her reflection, she paused, smiled at herself, and gave two enthusiastic thumbs up. It was such a simple moment – and such a beautiful strategy for tending a joyful relationship with herself. I’ve happily adopted it, and I love sharing it with others.
What might shift if we offered that same kindness to our bodies – and to our digestion? If instead of criticism or control, we met ourselves with curiosity, patience, and encouragement?
Gut health isn’t a project to complete. It’s a relationship to tend – one small, supportive moment at a time.
Lori and Michelle – the owners behind The Lucky Gut Collective – have spent the past 25 years devoted to child development, wellness, and entrepreneurship. Michelle is a certified clinical herbalist, and Lori brings her expertise as a health coach. Their experience and passion for healthy living grew naturally into a shared vision for a space that supports whole‑body wellness for all ages. Directing the LGC today is Sam, an integrative nutrition health coach. The mission is simple: to bring the kitchen back to the community – offering a place where people can learn, cook, eat, shop, heal naturally, and connect.
Call 860.217.1259 or visit: luckygut.co to learn more.
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