The Keys To Happiness

Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino

Our family is the proud owner of an adorable hamster named Emma Stone. She’s really quite cute by the way. So, you’re probably wondering what hamsters could possibly have to do with happiness levels. Well, as a new hamster owner, one thing I’ve become incredibly aware of is hamster behavior. Have you ever seen hamsters in their cages? They sleep all day and spend all night running endlessly on a wheel that takes them where? Nowhere! They run and run and run and run and … well, you get the picture – they run! They run in circles over and over and over again!

Let’s talk about being in hamster mode. Hamster mode = stuck. You might be stuck repeating the same behavior over and over.  You might be stuck in a rut, stuck in a job, stuck at a certain weight, stuck in a bad marriage. Whatever internal hamster zone you’re stuck on, it’s important to recognize and deal with it. My goal is to remove you from that hamster mode and get you moving in a more consistent, effective direction. My mission is to remove you from the wheel.

Step away from the wheel.

Get off the wheel.

Imagine if the hamster got loose from its cage and off the wheel. What would happen?

Getting out of hamster mode takes courage to step out of your comfy hamster zone. Let’s reflect on these important questions:

• What gives you courage to ask “Can it get better?”
• What can you do to make your life easier?
• What can you do to make your life better or more fulfilling?
• What’s your first step?
• Why are you afraid to take this first step?
• What messages in your head may tell you to be afraid?
• Why can’t you substitute these messages with empowering ideas of what you can and will do?
• What holds you back from fulfilling your needs?

One of the most powerful weapons you have that can lead to your downfall is habit. Habitual patterns of negative thinking can hold you hostage from change. Instead of making your usual To Do list, write an I Can’t Because list. While this might sound like yet another tool for losing your happiness battle, it’s helpful to see all of your self-defeating messages materialize on paper. After you’ve had a chance to reflect on this list, substitute these words of defeat with empowering statements in the present tense. Write them as if they’re happening in the now. For example, “I surround myself with supportive and caring people” is much more powerful than, “I will surround myself …” This moment is about empowering yourself in the present, getting past your fears, and living in the now.

Below is a list to help you on your journey to empowerment. But hold on for a minute – before you attempt to run through this list, stop and look at what I’m asking you to do. Now, choose ONE – yes, only ONE item from the list. Do that ONE thing today. If you even think about doing more than one, I’ll have to send an army of hamsters to your house.  So – have you chosen your ONE task? You’re probably wondering about everything else on this list. Well, I encourage you to pick ONE and only ONE thing per day … or week. Don’t rush this list; after all, change takes time. And to be honest, the items on this list can’t be accomplished in five or ten minutes. Don’t rush them. It should take you at least several weeks to complete all of the activities on this list. Reflect and take time.

My Empowerment Ideas

• Love yourself and accept your imperfections
• Exercise 30-60 minutes per day
• Forgive someone
• Smile and laugh
• Clear out clutter
• Be proud
• Eat healthy food
• Evaluate and reevaluate priorities
• Recognize stress and find ways to lessen it
• Appreciate yourself, your life, and those around you
• Give back
• Splurge a little
• Laugh at yourself
• Take a break
• Breathe deeply and say, “I am worth it.”

Health and happiness are job one for most of us. What are you doing to be happy NOW? One thing I do to be happy in the now is smile. I’m one of those people who smiles at strangers. Often, when I see someone not smiling, I will smile at them to brighten their day.

I believe the keys to happiness and success are being positive and leading a low-stress life, regardless of challenges and setbacks. For instance, I’ve never been very healthy. When I was younger, coughs, croup, and ear infections plagued me regularly. I also have tremendously bad eyesight. As an adult, I suffer from food allergies and migraines. I just remind myself that life isn’t perfect; nobody ever said it would be. Everyone has setbacks, health problems, or other issues at some point in their lives, but your potential has no limit. Think about your happiness levels.  Happiness and your potential are tied hand-in-hand like an old married couple getting their AARP magazines each month.

It doesn’t take a Ph.D. in happiness to know when you’re happy, sad, or somewhere in between. If you don’t feel happy very often, let’s work on changing that. Any change or resolution starts with an assessment. So, let’s start with the big question: Are you happy? I know it’s a loaded question, but give it some serious reflection. You might think that the question is too broad or maybe you just give the blanket response of “yes” or “no.”  I find it interesting when people immediately reply “yes” to the question. More often than not, their answer is really “no”, but they’re not eager to divulge their unhappiness. Generally, that “yes” is for the sake of appearance, or because it’s really none of my business. It could also be because they’ve focused in on a recent trouble or situation that conjures up unpleasant thoughts. Many people often respond with, “I’d be happy if …” When people tell me they’d  be happier if they had more money or a nicer house or a multitude of other explanations, I can’t help but think it’s all disguise. No one thing or person can make you happy; happiness is a choice from within. These are merely excuses to not be happy in the present.

My goal is always answer “yes” and mean it. I mean, really mean it! To get to that happy place takes work. So, grab a pencil or pen and that brain of yours and let’s think about your overall happiness level. We’re not looking at specifics like, “I’m not happy right now because my dog just piddled on the basement floor,” but instead, think about the bigger picture.

Here are some areas for you to consider: