The Art of Patience
We, as a society, are impatient. We want everything NOW, if not sooner. I am guilty of this myself, and as I grow older and as our world speeds up, it has become clearer to me that patience truly is a virtue and a learned behavior. We all need to learn to flex that muscle and keep it fluid in our lives.
The Waiting Game
Last April, I decided that I very much wanted a new door to my home, and very much needed a new door for my office entrance. I jumped right on it—beautifying my surroundings has always been important to me and I was ready for change. It took five weeks to get someone to come to my home to measure for the doors. Upon ordering, I was told that my walls were extra thick (I think that’s a good thing!), which would require special custom-made door jambs. I was quoted a six- to eight-week time frame and was assured they were running on time.
The due date was July 8, which came and went. The new due date was July 27, then August 10, then…well, I stopped trying to figure it out. The realization that I had no control over this became somewhat of a metaphor for life. I had to be patient. I was told the installation process was quick—it wasn’t. I had to wait over two more months for that appointment. I was now getting used to the way it was, with no influence or control—just acceptance.
A miracle occurred and I was called with an earlier time slot. At the time of this writing, I am days away from this transformation. Update: That appointment ended up being cancelled the morning of, because it was raining. Now scheduled, yet again, for a couple of weeks out.
I am seeing all the lessons involved—hurry up and wait, stay calm, be patient, and be thankful. Patience is a virtue—one I do not naturally have, but a skill set I can and will continue to practice, acquire, and one at which I wish to become an expert!
Transformation Doesn’t Happen Overnight
As a Rolfer, working with people and their own transformations for the last forty years, I have always seen that all things take time and personal transformations are worth the wait, time, expense, and effort. To restructure a body is an event that has no presumed schedule, no guarantee, and is largely out of anyone’s control. We all have a history with traumas, injuries, and dramas in both the physical and emotional realm. There is no rushing the process of getting back to a neutral state through release, change, growth, and shift in integral balance.
It may take up to six months from the moment a person contacts me until our work together is completed. I ask people to be patient and trust the process, which is difficult if they are in pain and have been for a while. I ask my clients to ride the wave of the journey and to accept a new understanding of how their body works to avoid the same pitfalls and eventually the same outcome. I continue to be in awe of the resilience of the human body and how it wants to heal, be freer, and maintain itself.
I recently finished working with a client in his thirties who, as a father, farmer, physical laborer, martial artist, and always-on-the-go kind of guy, could not tolerate the pain he was in. There was not one specific thing that happened to him, but a series of events over time that shifted his body out of whack, which then caused enough physical imbalance that he was left in chronic pain. He had tried nearly everything to get better, had limited his activity and reduced the impact of the physical stress from his job. Nothing was working. He began the Rolfing process of ten sessions and somewhere around session 5, he began to be out of the constant pain he had been in and was able to experience his full life again. We finished our sessions in late September and he is even better than he was before the physical breakdown! Success was not overnight, but it was achieved with our hands-on work, re-organization, time, re-education, and patience.
Permanent Solutions vs. Temporary Fixes
The process of Rolfing, as I see it, is a time when the physical and learned behavior shifts can be made to get the body into balance and keep it there. These changes become what we call “permanent, progressive” changes because not only does the body release old patterns, but the person learns new ways to prevent the same issues from occurring. It’s the difference between figuring out why you have the headache, rather than simply taking an aspirin because you have a headache. Does it make more sense for you to release the spasm in your back as a temporary, quick fix, or do you find out why every few months, that pain comes back and stops you in your tracks?
Try to discover what solution is best for you and change yourself for the better. Life is too short and too exciting to be sidelined with pain that gets the best of you. Call me or email me for more information about Rolfing, but please be patient—the process can be lengthy, these times are busy, and I want you to have the very best care.
Sharon Sklar is in her 40th year of private practice as a Certified Advanced Rolfer. State licensed and the only Rolfer in Central CT, Sharon works with direct manipulation of the soft tissue of the body and movement re-education over a ten-session series to help her clients feel freer, get more balanced, and reduce chronic pain. Great for athletes, children, and adults recovering from the stress, injuries, and traumas of life. Call 860.561.4337 for more info or to schedule a consultation. www.SharonSklarRolfing.com.