What if 2015 is your year to find love? It absolutely can be if you decide to take action and start dating with purpose.
What is Dating with Purpose?
Many people date unconsciously, content to enter a relationship with whoever comes along or shows interest. That’s certainly one approach, but it’s not likely to produce the lasting, loving relationship you dream of.
When you are dating with purpose, you approach finding love from a higher consciousness. You define the qualities of your ideal partner and create an action plan to find that person. Dating to find love requires strategy, preparation and goal setting, to get the results you want.
For some singles, this sounds too contrived. You expect to find love naturally, through your everyday life. That might work in your 20s, but if you’re over 30 the likelihood of your ideal mate magically showing up is minuscule. Knowing this, if you’re done with leaving your love life up to chance, dating with purpose is the way to go.
10 Step Plan for Dating with Purpose
1. Get Serious. This first step is the biggest one. You are moving from lackadaisical dating to becoming serious about finding love. Part of this process is to make sure you believe your efforts will be rewarded; otherwise you might not feel motivated to follow through on the next nine steps. Believe love is possible for you – because IT IS.
2. Learn About Yourself. The journey to find love is one of self-discovery. You’ll learn about what works for you and what doesn’t. Sometimes people think they know what they want, but then discover it doesn’t work out. That’s why, even if you‘ve been married or in relationships, you might not have the self-awareness you need without taking this conscious step to learn from your mistakes.
3. Let Go of the Past. To make room for new love you must let go of the past. It’s time to clean house in your heart and mind. You need to forgive and forget before you can move on and attract a healthy relationship. Skipping this step could mean you repeatedly attract the same kind of person and replay the same mistakes. You can work with a therapist, visit a healer, use flower remedies, or employ a combination of several methods to clear the way.
4. Define Your Ideal Mate. I believe in making a list of qualities for your ideal mate. You won’t get everything on the list, but it’s so much better than not knowing what you want in a partner. This is wonderful for manifesting love, which I’ll explain in Step 5. One word of caution: I have seen people use their list as a way to disqualify nearly every person they meet. The point is to clarify who you are seeking so you’ll know when you find him or her, not to use it to keep yourself single.
5. Apply the Law of Attraction. If you haven’t heard of the Law of Attraction, the idea is that “Like attracts like.” That means if you want a successful, upbeat, social person, that’s who you need to be as well. Next, imagine how it would feel to find the love you crave, the excitement and happiness. When you spend time in these good feelings, you create a beacon to attract that love into your life.
This is one of the steps that kept me going during my 15 month journey to find the man I married. When I had a bad date, got rejected or sank into despair, I relied on the Law of Attraction to reset my energy. Feeling the energy of the love I wanted helped me hold strong to the inner knowing that I was meant to be in a loving relationship. It worked!
6. Make a Plan to Meet Singles. How do you meet new people? If you are dating with purpose, you won’t rely solely on chance. Instead, make an action plan to meet singles. You plan can include online dating, speed dating, Meetup.com groups, blind dates or singles dances. You can also meet new people in general because everyone knows approximately 250 people and the bigger your circle, the more chances you have to meet someone new. Nearly 30% of all relationships start through people you know. I met my husband on a blind date after meeting his sister.
7. Go on Dates. Finally, it’s time to go on dates! Dating with purpose is a numbers game. The more dates you go on, the better your chances of finding a match. Plus, going on lots of dates builds confidence, hones your skills, and toughens your skin so you can roll with disappointment. The best cure for getting stood up or a bad date is to have another date lined up!
8. Adopt a Positive Mindset. To date with purpose, you want to be open, feel positive and learn how to handle rejection with grace. Set your expectations to reality and recognize you’ll have to kiss quite a few frogs to connect with “The One.” I recommend my clients adopt a mindset of ‘positive neutrality,’ which means when they meet someone they’re excited about, they remain calm and have a ‘wait and see’ outlook. This mindset can help you prevent premature attachment and the resulting heartbreak before you really know if the person you’re dating is right for you.
9. Take the Pressure Off. If you are dating with purpose, you know the wisdom of taking the pressure off each date. Having lots of dates makes the outcome of one particular date less important. This is how you can relax and be yourself – your best self of course, because you only get one chance to make a good first impression. The more you take the pressure off, the more confidence you exude, which makes you that much more attractive.
When I was looking for love, I stopped hoping each man would be The One and got comfortable simply getting to know the guys. I knew that if it wasn’t this man, it could be the next. This light-hearted outlook helped me stay emotionally balanced even when things didn’t work out.
10. Persevere. Dating isn’t easy, especially in midlife. What will make it more enjoyable is to stay positive and keep at it. Once in a while you may want to take a break. That’s perfectly fine, but don’t hide out for too long since it can become your new status which won’t help you find love. When dating with purpose, you know that the best solution is to continue dating until you find The One.
Finding love is totally possible, whether you are looking for your first love or your third husband. People fall in love every day – it’s that common. There is no reason why you should think love has passed you by or there are no good men left or all women want rich men. These limiting thoughts are nothing more than excuses to avoid dating and the love you deserve.
Date with purpose and before you know it, you’ll meet that one special person that will make all your romantic efforts totally worthwhile. I found love and married for the first time at 43.You can do it too.
Dating Coach Ronnie Ann Ryan has helped thousands of successful midlife gals attract the magic of love since 2002. Whether you’ve given up on love or are frustrated by dating, Ronnie’s Dating GPS system offers the guidance you need to find love faster. Ms. Ryan is a certified coach who has been featured by BBC, ABC, NBC, and Fox News, NPR, Fox News Magazine Online, Huffington Post, and eHarmony. Contact Ronnie at 203-877-3777 or visit www.NeverTooLate.biz/gift to get her free book 7 Dire Dating Mistakes That Keep You Single.