I vividly recall the day Deborah Bentley celebrated her 50th birthday, back when I was just 16. It was a warm summer day in her studio as a few other yoga students straggled in to take her class. We faced the windows overlooking a serene patio with a hot tub and a field where sheep grazed in the distance.
Only five years later, right after college, as I settled into my own apartment, the news of Deborah’s passing from cancer reached me – an illness she had kept hidden from me and many others. She had been my mentor since I was twelve until I left for college, and thereafter our communication was limited to letters. Memories of our shared experiences rushed back, like the time she disclosed her allergy to alcohol during a heartfelt conversation about our learned codependent and passive-aggressive behaviors, both of us being recovering children from alcoholic families.
The Healing Power of Meditation
The pain of losing her is still palpable, even though I had only scratched the surface of knowing her. Nevertheless, she played an instrumental role in shaping who I am today. It was Deborah who introduced me to the profound importance of meditation. At the tender age of sixteen, she taught me how to process and transform my emotions through Rebirthing Breathwork (created by Leonard Orr), a healing practice with the power to unlock stored energy. If left unaddressed, this energy can wreak havoc on our minds and bodies.
Studies have proven that meditation can positively impact the mind, and in turn, the body. The belief that we can achieve something and the commitment to make it happen can work wonders. Watch an animal break through a fence or a determined child get what they want—they do not let limiting beliefs stop them.
Use Your Yin Tools
But there’s a larger, often unspoken aspect to my mentor’s sickness that is prevalent in our world. Women often carry the emotional labor for others, expected to take care of everyone else but themselves. Deborah did not discover yoga and breathwork until her late 40s, after enduring an abusive, alcoholic husband and a dysfunctional family structure for most of her adult life. Those who bear the weight of emotional burdens are often the most vulnerable to dis-ease, and their experiences and pain can serve as lessons for our collective healing.
Those who survive a death scare may understand what I am talking about. It is those lessons you gain by contemplating how you became susceptible to sickness and your subsequent recovery that make you more aware of how special you are and what power you hold. To prevent the repetition of these lessons, we must embrace our feminine energies (Yin) and turn inward, listening to the wisdom that already resides within us. No longer can the days of “battling” or “fighting” our illness be the tools we use to heal. We must adopt true Yin tools—sitting with, giving attention to, creating space for, and actively listening to our inner selves.
Meditation (Breathwork, Prayer, and Sun Dances) has been part of our ancestral heritage and has stood the test of time for a reason. That is why I am providing Free Meditation Practice sessions on YouTube. (www.youtube.com/@RAYLifeCoaching)
I also find that once we, as women, stand up for the feminine principle and act from this inner knowing, we will provide a safe haven for all to tap into this energy and use it to heal ourselves and this world. That is why I have created “The Confidence Tool Kit,” which you can download for free at raylifecoaching.com/free-resources.
Furthermore, I conduct speaking engagements and workshops, both in-person and online, to empower women to embrace their unique nature, engage in consensual conversations, set personal boundaries, and build fulfilling lives with newfound independence. Check these offerings out by visiting raylifecoaching.com/workshops.
Women are the guardians and custodians of this listening and holding energy. If you identify or were brought up as a woman, please consider joining my Meetup group, “Northeast CT LGBTQ Women’s Empowerment Meetup Group.” This community offers support, gatherings, and much more, all run and attended by women. Visit: meetup.com/northeast-ct-lgbtq-womens-empowerment-meetup-group/events/ to learn more.
Ray Beyor, owner of RAY Life Coaching, provides her clients with resources and practices that clarify their values, set steps toward their purpose, and master confidence while facing fears with patience, compassion, and accountability. Ray’s training in attachment theory, codependency, yoga, meditation, polyamory, consent work, dance, and astrology is used to guide her clients into their authentic and abundant selves. To schedule a free call or learn more, please visit: www.reneebeyor.com.